Tomorrow is one of my favourite days of the year. April Fools. Every year I prepare for it and every year I get caught. Being extremely naive as well as gullible you can only imagine what I have believed to be true. Hotel on top of Table Mountain. I was outraged!
A few years ago, I was so determined not to be caught out yet again that I arranged an April Fool's prank with some of the community members of Berg-en-dal. It included a herd of goats, a mattress and some homeless people. Even though I had gone to great lengths to avoid being duped, the front page of the newspaper on that same day showed a photograph of a giant football that had knocked over a bridge. I fell for it!
So here's the deal. I am an acidic junkie. I am starting treatment tomorrow. I am switching to a 100% raw food diet for 90 days as I did before. I am doing this with regular excercise, colonics and using the paraliminals daily. I want to see whether addicition can in fact be treated with a raw food diet.
Keep you posted!
Thursday 31 March 2011
Be careful of acid!
Towards the end of last year I was blessed with a kidney stone. After two sleepless nights and the most excruciating pain I have ever experienced (and I have been in labour too!), I went to Carol. Surprise surpise..."Juice fast".
I have no medical aid. Hospital was going to cost thousands. But hey, I am living the life of "the body can sort itself out with the correct nutrition" so I put this to the test in a very real way.
Noel sprang into action, and within hours found us a getaway in Scarborough where we could conclude the last four days of our nine day green juice fast.
The short version, it worked. The stone dissolved, I am cured. I don't think there has been any permanent damage. I felt fantastic and weighed in at 66kgs, a 20kg weight loss!!
I have no medical aid. Hospital was going to cost thousands. But hey, I am living the life of "the body can sort itself out with the correct nutrition" so I put this to the test in a very real way.
Noel sprang into action, and within hours found us a getaway in Scarborough where we could conclude the last four days of our nine day green juice fast.
The short version, it worked. The stone dissolved, I am cured. I don't think there has been any permanent damage. I felt fantastic and weighed in at 66kgs, a 20kg weight loss!!
Being new at this, and of course slightly arrogant about this miracle I had performed upon my body, I launched out of the fast with wreckless abandon.
WARNING: Do not try this at home or without supervision.
The first few meals were consumed with careful consideration, chewing slowing, all that good stuff. But it wasn't long before everything started to taste AMAZING! Everything. Even spirulina took on a whole new relationship with my taste buds. And in true Nat style, I went from fasting to feasting overnight. OK people, think of Ice Cream who I introduced you to earlier. Spaghetti bolognaise, creme brulee, burgers, chips, coffee in every conceivable shape and size, chocolate (no not the lovely hand crafted chocolate from Gayleen), milktart, apple pie and ice cream, white bread, you name it I either craved it or ate it.
A few weeks ago I stopped for a pie at one of the many places I scoped out. I scoffed this thing in about two minutes flat, not a word of exaggeration. When I looked up, one of my old school friends was standing next to me. Her jaw had actually dropped. She asked me when last I had eaten. I was embarresed to admit it, but it had only been half an hour before that. In the car. Mid flight. Bag of niknaks, gone in a flash.
It was at that point that I realised what was going on. I was behaving like a full-blown addict again. Sneak eating, zero awareness, zero responsibility and zero care. What had happened? I was doing so well.
I spent a few days watching myself, stalking myself, picking up on the clues. And it struck me. My body chemistry had changed. I had tipped back into an acidic body type. And with it came all the things I expected to happen, with a few interesting add-ons.
Four months only and here is what I see:
I have put on weight. TADA.
I sleep more and wake up less energised.
My skin has wrinkled and lost its glow.
I have spots!
My joints ache and I have become more stiff in my muscles.
I need a jump start in the morning, usually coffee.
I handle stress with far more emotion, usually tears, often shouting.
The knocks of life often knock me down.
I have become fearful. I lock myself into my room at night when I am alone.
My digestion has slowed down. I have to push when I go to the loo (Sorry, you wanted it this way). Sometimes I need a magazine.
I am more on edge and less relaxed.
I feel less happy and the gratitude thing doesn't flow.
I have cravings for crazy food that I usually don't eat. Cake comes to mind!
Myself, the bitch, has woken up. Talking non-stop about what a loser I am. Tempting me when I walk into shops. Constantly taking me back into the past, guilt, regret, pity, on and on, never ending. She is there when I go to sleep and there when I wake up. The same thought over and over in an ever-shrinking demented dialogue. Drumming up issues that I didn't have with people, but now do.
I feel like a drunk again. Without the alcohol.
The mouth is the gateway to all misery!
Addiction centres. I have never checked myself into one, but I have had a few experiences, up close and personal. If anyone has any stats on their success I would love to have them.
I can say two things about the centres I visited. Everyone smokes and the food sucks.
Now I find this interesting. As a councellor or centre manager, has no-one yet made the connection between the bullshit in the head and the bullshit in the stomach? Perhaps all addicts need to do is juice fast for 30 days just to make sure that all their misery is not just candida gone mad.
No offence, but it could be that simple.
I can say two things about the centres I visited. Everyone smokes and the food sucks.
Now I find this interesting. As a councellor or centre manager, has no-one yet made the connection between the bullshit in the head and the bullshit in the stomach? Perhaps all addicts need to do is juice fast for 30 days just to make sure that all their misery is not just candida gone mad.
No offence, but it could be that simple.
Wednesday 30 March 2011
The Circus of Life
Cirque du Soleil, loved it. Eye candy at its best!!
So what am I doing here? Why write a blog about myself and my journey? I am undergoing an experiment about body chemistry and how it defines who we are, how we feel and what we can overcome.
Two years ago I stopped drinking alcohol. A bottle of wine per day (times 5 years) plus regular drinking before that (drunk the first time aged 14). I have successfully remained alcohol free since then, and this is the good part, with zero battle. Easiest thing I've ever had to quit. No meetings, no councelling, no therapy, no medication and no fighting. Nothing. And yes, I was most certainly was an alcoholic.
I have spent the last two years pondering over this success and wondering why is was so easy.
I have a theory that I want to share.
I did a few things to ensure my success.
1. No battle. I refused to go into battle with myself. Think about that for a second. This may seem obvious but the ego is smart and can trick you into a fight... no battle.
2. I found a paraliminal on stopping alcohol consumption and listened to it morning and evening. EVERY day, morning and evening for 30 days.
3. I stopped smoking cigarettes at the same time. Anyone out there who drinks and smokes will know beyond a shadow of doubt that these are the evil twins, and you do one with the other. Imagine, every time you light up, you think about having a drink. What a glorious playground for that ego! There is also a scientific reason why this is a good idea if you are freeing yourself from alcoholism. Body chemistry. When we smoke, we make our bodies acidic. Same state as when we are drinking, and it is a well known fact that nothing can be changed in the same state in which it was created. Acidic body.
4. I switched to a 100% raw diet over night for 90 days. Same reasoning, alkilise the body. The change will follow.
Anyone who knows me will vouch for the fact that I started changing within weeks. The obvious things included: I remember agreements made. This is a big one because there is damage done in this area. Alcoholics are good time friends but they are bloody unreliable. I can now live in integrity which makes me feel good about myself. My hair and skin begin to shine. I am mildly vain, so this is also nice. I start to loose weight!!! Ha! Easy as that. And the kilos just slip off effortlessly. But the most important thing that happened to me was that bitch Myself went to sleep! Oh she stirs every now and again, but just to have stretch and make sure we were still aware of her, but she is very much in my background.
I never expected to have this benefit, to silence that beast, to live without her in my face 24/7. And I do believe that her silence was the key to my success.
So what am I doing here? Why write a blog about myself and my journey? I am undergoing an experiment about body chemistry and how it defines who we are, how we feel and what we can overcome.
Two years ago I stopped drinking alcohol. A bottle of wine per day (times 5 years) plus regular drinking before that (drunk the first time aged 14). I have successfully remained alcohol free since then, and this is the good part, with zero battle. Easiest thing I've ever had to quit. No meetings, no councelling, no therapy, no medication and no fighting. Nothing. And yes, I was most certainly was an alcoholic.
I have spent the last two years pondering over this success and wondering why is was so easy.
I have a theory that I want to share.
I did a few things to ensure my success.
1. No battle. I refused to go into battle with myself. Think about that for a second. This may seem obvious but the ego is smart and can trick you into a fight... no battle.
2. I found a paraliminal on stopping alcohol consumption and listened to it morning and evening. EVERY day, morning and evening for 30 days.
3. I stopped smoking cigarettes at the same time. Anyone out there who drinks and smokes will know beyond a shadow of doubt that these are the evil twins, and you do one with the other. Imagine, every time you light up, you think about having a drink. What a glorious playground for that ego! There is also a scientific reason why this is a good idea if you are freeing yourself from alcoholism. Body chemistry. When we smoke, we make our bodies acidic. Same state as when we are drinking, and it is a well known fact that nothing can be changed in the same state in which it was created. Acidic body.
4. I switched to a 100% raw diet over night for 90 days. Same reasoning, alkilise the body. The change will follow.
Anyone who knows me will vouch for the fact that I started changing within weeks. The obvious things included: I remember agreements made. This is a big one because there is damage done in this area. Alcoholics are good time friends but they are bloody unreliable. I can now live in integrity which makes me feel good about myself. My hair and skin begin to shine. I am mildly vain, so this is also nice. I start to loose weight!!! Ha! Easy as that. And the kilos just slip off effortlessly. But the most important thing that happened to me was that bitch Myself went to sleep! Oh she stirs every now and again, but just to have stretch and make sure we were still aware of her, but she is very much in my background.
I never expected to have this benefit, to silence that beast, to live without her in my face 24/7. And I do believe that her silence was the key to my success.
Call Carol
I am sure I say "call Carol" more than I say any other thing. Ever.
If Carol Shaw has recently experienced a sudden increase in her mail or phone calls, I am sure it must be because of me. "Call Carol" can be used as an instuction, a verb or a an avoidance tactic. Whenever a conversation drifts into murky waters, you'll hear me say it.
Carol will finish your sentence for you, give you your answer and your prescription all in one breath. And without any pauses, even for some thinking. She is fire, earth, air and water all rolled into one feisty bomb.
If you have any ailment which is peculiar and has a funny name, Carol will tell you what you are deficiant in. But don't go looking for any sympathy. Wrong person! And be prepared to hear these words.... "Juice Fast".
Hahaha, and I've just thought of something. While I lost a luggage allowance (as in kilograms lost), Carol lost the whole passenger!
If Carol Shaw has recently experienced a sudden increase in her mail or phone calls, I am sure it must be because of me. "Call Carol" can be used as an instuction, a verb or a an avoidance tactic. Whenever a conversation drifts into murky waters, you'll hear me say it.
Carol will finish your sentence for you, give you your answer and your prescription all in one breath. And without any pauses, even for some thinking. She is fire, earth, air and water all rolled into one feisty bomb.
If you have any ailment which is peculiar and has a funny name, Carol will tell you what you are deficiant in. But don't go looking for any sympathy. Wrong person! And be prepared to hear these words.... "Juice Fast".
Hahaha, and I've just thought of something. While I lost a luggage allowance (as in kilograms lost), Carol lost the whole passenger!
Tuesday 29 March 2011
It's a brand new day
So why all the angst about someone seeing me?
People expect me to be a certain way. And no, I am not making this up.
A few months ago I was standing in a queue at one of my favourite coffee shops. In front of me was a bloke I had met at a raw food seminar. Was he there for herbal tea??? NO, he was there for coffee!
When he turned around and saw me there it looked as though he wanted to disappear into his own pocket. Once he had managed to deal with this embarressing situation, he then had to try and piece together why I was there. This painful experience took all of two minutes but felt like a lenghty tooth extraction.
It made me realise how many assumptions people make about me, my lifestyle and my diet.
To run a RAW VEGAN company that sells and promotes only RAW and VEGAN products, I guess it would be a natural assumption that I am 100% this.
Drumroll........... I am not.
And people, I don't know what's wrong with you. If you need to figure out why you have a chronic syndrome, I am not the right person to ask.
Call Carol!
People expect me to be a certain way. And no, I am not making this up.
A few months ago I was standing in a queue at one of my favourite coffee shops. In front of me was a bloke I had met at a raw food seminar. Was he there for herbal tea??? NO, he was there for coffee!
When he turned around and saw me there it looked as though he wanted to disappear into his own pocket. Once he had managed to deal with this embarressing situation, he then had to try and piece together why I was there. This painful experience took all of two minutes but felt like a lenghty tooth extraction.
It made me realise how many assumptions people make about me, my lifestyle and my diet.
To run a RAW VEGAN company that sells and promotes only RAW and VEGAN products, I guess it would be a natural assumption that I am 100% this.
Drumroll........... I am not.
And people, I don't know what's wrong with you. If you need to figure out why you have a chronic syndrome, I am not the right person to ask.
Call Carol!
Meet Jane
Yesterday I fell into a crevice of ribs, chips and fried onion rings. I moved around in the restaurant a few times, eventually favouring a comfortable chair but risking sitting next to the window. What if someone saw me???
Of course someone saw me. I saw the double take through the corner of my eye and started panicking, face full of sauce and stuffed with chips. I chewed faster and faster, trying to swallow quickly so I could fall into apology the minute this person walked through the door.
Thank God. It was Jane.
How lucky you are if you have a friend like Jane. If I was charged with a heinous crime and sent to jail forever, Jane would be the one to forgive me first and visit me most. So relieved I was when it was she who plonked herself down at my table with a big smile and spoke of the loveliness of taking oneself out for a meal.
The confession: my last few weeks have been plagued with binging and purging,
I can pour a packet of Niknaks into my mouth in almost one go, I ordered not one, two pizzas and ate them both... and all the while I'm waiting for her face to change from that lovely smile into even a small crinkle of a frown. Not Jane. She is making those "mmmmmmm" sounds all the way through my confession, enjoying the taste with me as I reveal all. How on earth can I wallow with this person??? Not possible.
I felt like a had had a download of therapy, a good dose of laughter and a reality check.
Now we have a deal. She is my support buddy. Whenever I have a urge to eat something ridiculous, I phone Jane.
If Jane let's me, I'll tell you more about her and her magic in another chapter.
Of course someone saw me. I saw the double take through the corner of my eye and started panicking, face full of sauce and stuffed with chips. I chewed faster and faster, trying to swallow quickly so I could fall into apology the minute this person walked through the door.
Thank God. It was Jane.
How lucky you are if you have a friend like Jane. If I was charged with a heinous crime and sent to jail forever, Jane would be the one to forgive me first and visit me most. So relieved I was when it was she who plonked herself down at my table with a big smile and spoke of the loveliness of taking oneself out for a meal.
The confession: my last few weeks have been plagued with binging and purging,
I can pour a packet of Niknaks into my mouth in almost one go, I ordered not one, two pizzas and ate them both... and all the while I'm waiting for her face to change from that lovely smile into even a small crinkle of a frown. Not Jane. She is making those "mmmmmmm" sounds all the way through my confession, enjoying the taste with me as I reveal all. How on earth can I wallow with this person??? Not possible.
I felt like a had had a download of therapy, a good dose of laughter and a reality check.
Now we have a deal. She is my support buddy. Whenever I have a urge to eat something ridiculous, I phone Jane.
If Jane let's me, I'll tell you more about her and her magic in another chapter.
Monday 28 March 2011
and then there's Myself
Anyone who has ever crossed me will most certainly have met Myself. She comes out when I am alone and doing nothing. Her role is to seek out anyone who deserves my wrath and talk them into a corner until they are a messy pile of tears, revering in my great strength and completely enormous, out of control ego. Sometimes death is involved.
This ego is alive and well. It is fed. With thoughts, yes, but also with food. And when this ego reaches a certain point, it tips...into Addict.
Addict is the self serving, self loathing, self centred part of Myself. Addict believes that I, and only I, understand real pain and suffering, that no-one else could possibly have it this hard. "No-one understands me, my life is so hard". If you have said these words to yourself before, then you'll probably relate to this hideous Myself person. She is a bitch and she has knives and she will most certainly inflict serious harm, almost always on Me.
This ego is alive and well. It is fed. With thoughts, yes, but also with food. And when this ego reaches a certain point, it tips...into Addict.
Addict is the self serving, self loathing, self centred part of Myself. Addict believes that I, and only I, understand real pain and suffering, that no-one else could possibly have it this hard. "No-one understands me, my life is so hard". If you have said these words to yourself before, then you'll probably relate to this hideous Myself person. She is a bitch and she has knives and she will most certainly inflict serious harm, almost always on Me.
Who's Me
Me, Nat, the person you all know, loves people, loves socialising, LOVES a dance floor. When I'm up, you know. When I'm down, you know too! I am in love with a beautiful man, I have a wonderful family. I have empowering relationships, my friends are leaders and experts, visionaries and dreamers. I am surrounded by beauty. I have a breathtaking garden and a warm comfortable home. I am blessed and full of gratitude.
Why Ice Cream?
I am having an affair with food. Like most affairs, they are secretive, destructive, full of sorries and remorse and intensely satisfying.... always a woeful cycle.
I was not born this way. I remember having a healthy self image. I rode horses and danced three or four times a week. My mom cooked us wholesome suppers and I don't recall feeling hungry or ever feeling like I needed to diet or loose weight. Everything was cool until I reached 14.
So what happens to us? Why do we go through such dark times?
This is my story. And how I medicated, first with alcohol and now food.
I was not born this way. I remember having a healthy self image. I rode horses and danced three or four times a week. My mom cooked us wholesome suppers and I don't recall feeling hungry or ever feeling like I needed to diet or loose weight. Everything was cool until I reached 14.
So what happens to us? Why do we go through such dark times?
This is my story. And how I medicated, first with alcohol and now food.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)